DreamingAway

  Sweepstakes: Well, I don’t know the name. A puzzle would be published in the newspaper, and you had to send the answer to a particular postal address to be part of a lucky draw. The winner would get a nice product at a big discount. The money was collected through the postal service. Extremes: We often use words like earthquake, tsunami, volcano, or nuclear bomb to describe the extremes of emotions or situations. We somehow know these are the big ones and they become our metaphors for things we can’t otherwise measure. Delhi/China Set: My dad used to refer to heavy parcels with fake products as “Delhi/China sets.” Scammers do this all the time. You would order a Mixi and end up receiving a nicely packed old brick. Back then, there was barely any way to complain or get your money back. Phone Scams: Phone scams are very common nowadays. And the elders are the easy targets. Nearly 20% of the adult population is affected by phone scams, with trillions of money looted by the scammers ...

One of the nice things about major bus stops is that both the people and buses keep moving, yet the place remains decently crowded, and always buzzing with life. It was 20:30 hrs when the bus I needed arrived. I was waiting closer to the bus so that I could take my turn after the rushing crowd boarded. An elderly lady approached me and asked whether the bus would go to her stop. It wouldn’t. I patiently explained to her the right bus numbers that would take her there and told her that her bus would come in 5-10 minutes. I suggested her to stand slightly away, where her bus usually stops. Then, I boarded my bus and left. You know, it is truly a blessing to be present in moments when elders feel the need for a helping hand. I have often seen college students carry bags for older people as they board buses. Even if the bag is almost weightless for the youngster, the gesture matters, and I am sure it helps the elder more than we imagine. It also leaves a warm feeling in the one who offers ...

  Had Gandhi not been present in Champaran, he would have still become a Mahatma. Had Che Guevara not studied Marxism, he would have still become a revolutionary. Had Siddhartha not been born in a palace, he would have still become the Buddha. Throughout history, countless leaders have risen to greatness. It didn’t matter where they were born, when they lived, or what challenges they faced - they had something inside them that pushed them forward. But why only them? Was it destiny? Were they born with a “greatness gene”? If I told you that was absolutely true, would you believe me? Let us take a moment to dissect this and see why it is not out of your reach. Imagine this: You are blindfolded and left in a grand hall, much like a child born into this world. Your task? To create tunes. All around you are walls, pillars, tables, curtains, and, yes, a piano. You can create sounds with almost anything. That’s how most of us live, just creating some sounds somewhere, somehow. In fact, ma...

 I had a hunch that I had heard of it somewhere - “The Deathbed Experiment”. Confused between Covey’s “Begin with the End in Mind” and Robin Sharma’s “Who Will Cry When You Die,”  I set out searching for the “Deathbed Experiment”.  My search led me through things like “Legacy thinking,”“Mortality Reflection,” and the “Eulogy Exercise”.  And it went a little deeper, the more abstract ones, like “Memento Mori Practice”, “Terror Management Theory Experiments”,  “Thanatotherapy,” and “End-of-Life Journaling Exercise”. No, I wasn’t looking for those. The idea itself was simple: imagining how people would cope with your death. Well, the name didn’t matter to start my own experiment. Here is how I progressed. I’ll skip over friends, as I believe that each one of them would fall into one of the categories that follow. Let me begin with the easiest group - my neighbours. Their response would be straightforward  - they would simply find out that I used to live there....

 When working in an environment where benchmarks are readily available, whether directly or indirectly, we often have a clear understanding of what is required for our career growth. Since these benchmarks typically align with what an average person can achieve through regular skill upgrades for their experience level, achieving them might seem straightforward. However, in reality, it is not always this simple. For countless reasons, we often fail to continuously upgrade our skills, resulting in us falling behind where we could have been. Firstly, there are no everyday indicators showing that we are slowing down or lagging behind. It is difficult to recognise at first and only becomes apparent later. By the time it is noticeable, it may already pose a threat to our job. But what if there is no immediate job threat? This can easily occur in organisations that can accommodate people based on their current skill levels. In such cases, it's like choosing between just running or running...

They say that the departed souls show up in the form of crows, and we express our love, respect, and gratitude towards our ancestors by feeding these birds. This need not be true, I never believed so, but it feels good, so I do feed the crows. I used to give banana peels to cows, enjoying the feel of their rough tongues snatching the peels from my hand. And if you have pigeons at home, you know the sheer joy of letting them perch on your hand while they eat. So, here’s my thing: I love feeding animals. There's something magical and heartwarming about connecting with these creatures, even if it’s partly for my own amusement. They usually run and hide as soon as they sense our presence, but not this brave one. The internet search says, he is a “brown-banded cockroach.” Let’s call him Browny. I found this little daredevil darting out of a carton of pet food. I was curious. I blocked his path with my finger, expecting him to climb over it like a little hiker. Nope! Browny dashed back i...

 Here is the old-age question: can we script our own lives, or are we mere puppets of destiny? Believing in destiny is the easiest path, as we encounter infinite things beyond our control. I've come to strongly believe that erasing God, in any form such as destiny, from our lives is impossible. How can a seed produce both root and stem, growing in opposite directions? Can the root dream of becoming a stem? Will the root’s dream ever be realised? The easiest for the root is to be a root because that is how it is designed. It is its destiny, and it is just that - right? Now, what of our dreams, our aspirations, our quests for achievements, fulfilment? If everything is pre-written, what about the rest of all the things we hear all along? Can we simply surrender and label it as destiny because everything is predetermined? Will we? Honestly, I do not know. Nevertheless, I don’t prefer to be in that state - a state where I don’t see a difference between a lifeless thing and me. There is ...

  She is an elderly person, possibly in her eighties. It is a very busy road and adherence to traffic rules seems to be non-existent and is possibly not a mandatory thing. Of course, it works in congested areas like these. People navigate smartly, finding the best ways to move themselves around. There is a sequence of bus stops for different directions, and for the long distance travel. There are autos and private vehicles. The traffic police can’t help much as the issue demands more infrastructural solutions than mere discipline. One good thing about this is, there is less likely a chance for any major accident. She is weak. Despite her age and a bent back, she can walk. Of course, with the aid of a walking stick. There's a sidewalk designated for pedestrians, but I tend to avoid it. It's often overcrowded, serving as a terminus for numerous buses and crowded by passengers boarding and alighting. And there are slow to very slow walkers. And plus the scattered litter. Even walk...

 Although I can remember a few people, at least vaguely, I am unable to recall anything that had happened before age 7. According to the internet, some may have access to memories formed as early as two years. That is impressive. It is okay, we all know that there are kids and others more talented than us in someway. Anyway, it’s not uncommon to have gaps in memory from our infancy days. By observing infants and their moms now, I’ve come to realise that my mom would have handled me rudely as she would have considered my innocent acts as rude ones at that time. I have vivid (!) memories of my early schooldays, where my mom had complete control over my days. She dictated everything from my playtime to study hours to my sleep schedules. No, she wasn’t a strict mom. It felt so natural to let her take control of my things. She knew every detail about my activities, interactions with my friends, and teachers. She truly knew everything! As I grew, she refined her ways and allowed me to do...

Who would choose to miss an opportunity to meet an old friend? When one of my friends invited me to his family function, I immediately decided to attend. My plan was to attend the function and then head straight to work. There is a special feeling in meeting friends after a long time. Even though our time together was brief, it was enough to bring back old memories and it made the present a pleasant one. It was morning 8 O’clock and as I walked towards the bus stop, I noticed a bus that I could catch if I sprinted a few meters. My flip-flop thought differently, smiled through the thong that had come off, and ordered me to walk slowly. No worries. I knew what to do - find a shoe repair shop and get it fixed temporarily. I walked for 100 meters on either side but to no avail. A thought about my schooldays’ “Hawai” chappals flashed, those that I could put the thongs back in a few seconds. Maybe I could use a safety-pin, but where could I find one? I spotted an open shop ahead, and althoug...

 Take a survey. Take data from any survey. We can easily find that the vast majority of people express thumbs down for whether they really get appreciated for what they have done. We may also find that the expectations are not costly rewards or high demands but the simplest form of deeds that shows appreciation. If it is that easy, then why is it not done as often as possible? Our smile and clap can help a toddler stand and walk a few more steps. It can encourage a kid to do more and feel happy when we appreciate him for solving a simple mathematical problem. Such is the very fundamental nature and the tendency of us, to receive an appreciation and feel good about it. Any genuine appreciation lifts us up. Do we still hesitate to appreciate, even after knowing the power of appreciation? When do we actually feel like appreciating? Some of the things I can think of: (1) When someone’s act gives a direct benefit, like a task completed. (2) When something makes us feel good, like a good...

  We can have an infinite number of views on what life is and what our purpose is. None can be complete, as nothing in this world seems everlasting and the mystical delusions are merciless in taking us away from the truth. Here is my recent perception: Life is something… mmm, it is just something and we all need to participate. We are all participants by design. There is an Entry/Exit Manager who decides when to induct and when to terminate the participation. It is random because we haven’t cracked the code behind it. Because of its randomness, it is usually unfair. You start your participation with a set of tools and capabilities which are unique to you. Let us not talk about the unfairness here and henceforth. The participation means your movement. You move by achieving targets. The targets can be anything that you wish and set. The tools and capabilities you possess at any point of time and the way you see the world around you determines your target. The target you achieve becom...

 We do talk to ourselves. Don’t we? I am sure nobody hears me when I talk to myself, when I see a bus (Chennai, MTC) go without stopping at the bus stop, especially after waiting for it for several minutes. Perhaps the bus driver doesn’t think that I am a person (and every other I’s there) waiting for the bus, and so he thinks that he can avoid the stop and reduce the trip time. We don’t only talk to ourselves, we also talk to strangers. Somehow, we get reasons to talk. I can find a person, an elderly person, at least two in a week, who talks to me. Oh, it is the same dialogue: “How do I catch this bus if it stops 100 meters away from the bus stop?”. I feel pity for them. There is no way that they can run, compete and get on the bus. I understand both the bus driver and those waiting for the bus assume a different location from where the bus has to stop. Adults talk to kids and sometimes talk to them that only the other adult can understand. There are times when kids do understand ...

A policeman was gunned down in the street. And another one and another one and it continues. I was watching the movie Methagu and these scenes matched the picture I had in my mind when I read those in the newspaper. I think the world has changed a lot now. We seem to have lost the power to persist with one’s belief and the ways to fight for it. I am wondering whether Bhagat Singh or Che Guevara is possible now. The Long March can only be a dream. Or is it not? Do we talk about Attila ? Things don’t feel heroic if it happened in the dim and the distant past, no matter how powerful it was. Recency and proximity matter. Or it has to be elevated to a mythical figure which in general happens with a lot of facts erased, especially the negative ones. If we move the instances from the past and make them happen in the current world, a lot of them could be a single day news or news that people lose interest in a few days. Without searching the internet, how many revolutionaries f...

 Marvel of Peru, Mirabilis Jalapa and Four O’clock Flower are the names I found on the Internet and the name I know is Anjumani poo (அஞ்சுமணிப் பூ) and it was one of my favourites in my schooldays. We had a long single line of flower plants in our home. There were Kanagambaram, Malli, Saamanthi and a few more. Although I liked them all, I liked this plant very much. It was very beautiful in the evening, especially at moonlight. It is very easy to grow, and it grows very fast. I loved watching them grow, from the seed to the plant full of flowers. That was why I was so upset when my dad cut it. Well, it is all about the rose plant that was my dad’s pet. It was almost lifeless when I brought it from my aunt’s home. He watered it every day, both in the morning and in the evening. That was fundamental for its life. He used the tea powder that he got from the nearby tea shop. I brought the donkey dung (manure for rose) that I found around the playground, that helped me to play extra tim...

  I was able to overtake the bus at three consecutive bus stops, cycling as fast as I could. We were not allowed in the physics lab without record notebook, and I forgot it in one day. Since I had a short time before the lab start time, I thought I could go home, about 3 kms, and bring it. I was peddling at the speed I never did before. I was able to predict the vehicles and pedestrians with high accuracy and move without applying brakes. I reached the lab on time. Was it a right decision? I would answer no now. I could have skipped the lab for one day. There was some “madness” in the decision, and I still wonder how I reached the lab on time. Adolf Hitler had some madness and so are Netaji, APJ and Write brothers as well as countless others. The result can be good or bad from others’ perspective, or it can be success or failure, but whatever is achieved is not possible normally. Because only this madness brings energy. It brings confidence. It brings focus. Regardless of the outco...

 It was a dream to own a bicycle when I was in the elementary school. My dad gifted one only after my tenth exams, when I needed to go to my new school, about 5 kms from my home. I had learned a few things about the bicycle during this period. The primary instruction my dad gave me was to check the tyre, bell and brake before I take the bicycle. My first job was to lubricate the parts like chain, spokes hub, brakes, etc., every week. It wasn’t a tough job, but when I wanted to maximise the time at the playground, getting the willingness to do it was challenging. My dad recommended not to install light kit in my bicycle as I wouldn’t require it all. Two of my friends had it, and so I was adamant and installed it and urged him that it would be useful during nights. I removed it later when it became loose and often made contact with the rim and slowed down the speed. Actually, apart from a few occasions, I never needed the light. Just removing this light kit helped me to reduce the cl...

Who are the teachers? You can find so many people who hate a certain subject just because they hate the teacher who took that subject. This is where the internet is helping us a lot. We are getting access to top quality learning materials — written materials, images, animated tutorials, lectures and so on. In fact, school and college education are merely becoming a formality to obtain marks and grades. New generations might have an educational system far different from the one we had. Transition in any system is quite natural. Somasunda r am was our Tamil ‘sir’ in my high schooldays. He was very tall and always wore traditional white & white veshti shirt. His face reminded me of Kamarajar . He was one of my favourite teachers. I started liking Thirukkural because of him. And the reason? Strangely, I don’t find anything. Though he took classes for us three consecutive years and we had Kural in every year, he never mandated that everyone should have a liking for Thiru...

 They would have thought that I was a new visitor to the terrace, and they were right as I had no habit of spending time there. Doves and pigeons are actually a bunch of pleasant to watch birds, especially when the pack of them are on the floor and eating. I started giving them a bowl of rice to eat. After the initial few days, I noticed that the crows ate rice as well. I was annoyed a bit when the crows took the rice and pigeons had to stay away as they were afraid of crows. Anyway, that was not a serious problem as the crows didn’t take the whole rice. Hurrah! It was so relieving when I switched to wheat. Crows didn’t touch it at all. I wonder whether there can be anyone who doesn’t love seeing squirrels when they eat something with their rounded back and the question mark like arched tail. Yeah, when I introduced wheat to pigeons, I found that few squirrels joined them. Squirrels are afraid of pigeons, so they ate the wheat that scattered around, a little away from the pigeons. ...

Love marriage is the one where two people love and marry without considering much about anything else. Arranged marriage is the one where two people meet in a planned way and marry by considering as many things as possible. Love is blind and that doesn’t mean that love marriage will suffer. The couple may already get everything that the arranged marriage helps to fetch in. They can also handle things as they are not kids. We have many tools and service agencies to help us find facts about anyone. So even in an arranged marriage, knowing the other person doesn’t take much of our time. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the arranged marriage won’t suffer. Knowing the facts about someone and understanding someone are not the same. It is unwise to say that one is better than the other for a married life. There are so many things involve in a successful married life. The list is endless with things like personality, goals, culture, nationality, religion, language, family, friends, activities...