DreamingAway

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Hansie is Not a Substitute

Hansie is my dog. On a sports field, a substitute steps in out of necessity. No matter their potential, on that given day, they remain a step behind the original choice. We live with substitutes every day. When the film we wanted is sold out, we choose another. When an evening by the sea is no longer possible, we find another way to spend it. Real plants become bonsai; bonsai become plastic leaves. We make these trades so often that we hardly notice them any more. Sometimes, we make them with emotions too. A quiet house can feel different when children are grown and gone, or when they were never there to begin with. Many bring home a dog — a gentle response to an ache, an unspoken need for connection, a little companionship. The same thing can be an original for one person and a substitute for another. One person swims because the water calls to them. Another swims because there is nothing else to do. The act is the same; the meaning is not. Perhaps that is the clarity we owe ourselves...

Respect: The Bond Beneath Every Bond

Recently, while watching Gurthukosthunnayi , I came across a dialogue that stayed with me. It meant something like this: “When you have nice people in a group, you make good friends. When you have crazy people in the group, you make great friends.” It made me smile because there is some truth in it. The best friendships are often built around shared laughter, strange adventures, endless conversations and memories that make little sense to anyone outside the group. But it also made me wonder: beyond all these things that bring people together, what is it that makes a bond truly endure? The more I thought about it, the more I felt that the answer might be something much quieter: respect. We often think of relationships in terms of affection, shared interests, attraction, compatibility or the memories we create together. But beneath all of these, there is another quality that gives a relationship depth and resilience — the ability to value another person for who they are, even when t...

She Needed a Bye Back

I visited my uncle’s house early last month. It had been more than two decades since I had last been there. Back then, it was nearly a kilometre’s walk from the main road. I wanted to retrace the steps of my boyhood, but the area had changed beyond recognition. I found myself mentally comparing the old map I carried in my memory with the reality before me. Even so, I pressed on, trusting my instincts to guide me. I managed to get close by asking for directions to the local temple and the lake, but eventually I got lost. In the end, I needed my cousin’s help. I was only two short streets away from his house. Whether I visited my cousin’s house or he came to mine, we would spend almost every weekend together. His village was beautiful, with lush paddy fields stretching along the lakeside. It was the first place I had ever seen handloom weaving up close. In fact, on almost every street one could see the traditional practice of street sizing . During those visits, we would play cricket, ca...

The Effort Illusion: When 'Done' Is Not Done

Most tasks are judged not by the effort invested, but by the outcome they produce. Yet, when we perform a task ourselves, our own effort is highly visible. We remember the time spent, the decisions made, and the obstacles overcome. Because we experience this effort directly, it is easy to mistake effort for completion. This tendency to evaluate our work by how much we did, rather than whether the intended outcome was achieved, is a common trap. There are trees near my house, and their leaves constantly fall onto the terrace. My daily task is to sweep the terrace and place the leaves in a bin to keep the area clean. There are many ways to approach this, but consider two scenarios where this simple task can go wrong. The Leaf Pile (Under-Delivery) My action: I sweep the terrace cleanly but leave the leaves in a neat pile in the corner, intending to bin them later. My perspective: I feel as though I have done a great job; after all, sweeping is 99% of the heavy lifting, and b...

Her Happy Kite

I recently watched the Telugu film Patang . It tells the story of two friends who form rival teams to settle a score through a kite duel. One team knows nothing about kite flying, which leads to several humorous scenes as they struggle to learn the craft. Those scenes felt deeply relatable. I flew kites during my school days and, like most of my “firsts”, the learning process was a comedy of errors. I remember trying to jam a chess pawn into the base of a piece because my cousin told me the newly bought set was “too small”. My first attempts at kite flying were much the same: I would simply grab the thread and run, hoping the kite would follow. Like a playful puppy, the kite had a mind of its own — nosediving, veering off course, or simply snapping the thread and escaping. My neighbours, who were quite skilled, eventually taught me the basics. Soon, I could fly a kite with ease. I even learned to make simple ones using nothing but old newspapers and broomsticks. Since our gate opened d...

The Hardest Part Is Not Leaving — It Is Coming Back

Nails Everywhere: Whenever I walk around campus with my colleagues, I sometimes pick a colour and say, “That colour is everywhere today.” It usually annoys them. They start pointing out all the other shades I am ignoring — and they are mostly right. But that is exactly the point. Your focus shapes your reality. Give your mind a frame, and it will fill the world to match it. When you hold a hammer, suddenly you see nails everywhere. You start living in a world made almost entirely of them. Slow Recovery: In sports, ligament and tendon injuries are notoriously slow to heal. They do not receive a constant flood of repair materials through the bloodstream. There is no quick fix, no overnight turnaround. Healing is not just about closing damage — it is about careful, internal realignment. You cannot yell at a ligament to knit itself back together faster. It happens on its own timeline. — — — Life has a way of testing every part of you at once — your family, your work, your sense of sel...