"You can travel for the whole day with this 30 Rs. ticket. Can't you?" - The person sat next to me asked when someone got 30 Rs. ticket from the conductor. I was bit surprised. I didn't expect him to have this knowledge. He is 76 (he told me later) with very lean energyless body. He continued and went on for another 35 minutes. He almost told me about his life journey, from age 10 to where he was going on that day. This is very common with elderly people. They have gathered a lot to talk.
There was a mention about his willingness to die without passing time in the hospital. Before getting down at Vijayanagar he thanked me for listening to him patiently which even their family members don't do. I just smiled as that is not at all a new thing to me. I haven't felt that busy to ignore these people. And of course, I am very comfortable at listening, especially when someone talks about his own past.
Though at times I feel sad, I don't really complaint. No one can really be blamed. Old age is such a cruel part of life. At one point, you are physically disturbed and that's it, the gap between you and the current generation is starts getting wider. When the fear of death hits you, you are collapsed. You want to be content with what you have either willingly or forcibly. And that is a sign of lifelessness. It is practically impossible for you to make someone to stop and listen to your deepest desires when they look ahead and run on their life path. Obviously you are ignored. Your longings are of yesteryears and it is hard to prove that to you. You yourself believe that your very own presence is a burden to everyone. That is why hospitals become hell. You are ready to accept death rather than "living" in a hospital.
If I have to pray, I will include this in my prayer - "God, let them die peacefully!"
Kovil Pillai P.
There was a mention about his willingness to die without passing time in the hospital. Before getting down at Vijayanagar he thanked me for listening to him patiently which even their family members don't do. I just smiled as that is not at all a new thing to me. I haven't felt that busy to ignore these people. And of course, I am very comfortable at listening, especially when someone talks about his own past.
Though at times I feel sad, I don't really complaint. No one can really be blamed. Old age is such a cruel part of life. At one point, you are physically disturbed and that's it, the gap between you and the current generation is starts getting wider. When the fear of death hits you, you are collapsed. You want to be content with what you have either willingly or forcibly. And that is a sign of lifelessness. It is practically impossible for you to make someone to stop and listen to your deepest desires when they look ahead and run on their life path. Obviously you are ignored. Your longings are of yesteryears and it is hard to prove that to you. You yourself believe that your very own presence is a burden to everyone. That is why hospitals become hell. You are ready to accept death rather than "living" in a hospital.
If I have to pray, I will include this in my prayer - "God, let them die peacefully!"
Kovil Pillai P.
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