Recently, while watching Gurthukosthunnayi, I came across a dialogue that stayed with me. It meant something like this: “When you have nice people in a group, you make good friends. When you have crazy people in the group, you make great friends.”
It made me smile because there is some truth in it. The best friendships are often built around shared laughter, strange adventures, endless conversations and memories that make little sense to anyone outside the group. But it also made me wonder: beyond all these things that bring people together, what is it that makes a bond truly endure?
The more I thought about it, the more I felt that the answer might be something much quieter: respect.
We often think of relationships in terms of affection, shared interests, attraction, compatibility or the memories we create together. But beneath all of these, there is another quality that gives a relationship depth and resilience — the ability to value another person for who they are, even when they are different from us, disagree with us or choose a path we would not choose ourselves.
And perhaps that is why respect feels like the bond beneath every bond.
When I think back to the people who inspired me as a child, I remember being fascinated by their courage, intellect, vision or conviction. Whether it was the revolutionary fire of Che Guevara or the visionary intellect of A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, that fascination naturally grew into something deeper: respect. Perhaps that is why some people remain our heroes long after childhood has passed. Inspiration may begin with admiration, but it is respect that makes it endure.
History offers countless examples of relationships shaped by this quiet force.
Take Marie and Pierre Curie. Their partnership was built, first and foremost, on a profound respect for each other’s intellect and scientific ability. That mutual respect helped forge one of history’s greatest scientific partnerships, leading to groundbreaking discoveries and, of course, a deep personal bond.
Steve Jobs deeply respected Steve Wozniak’s extraordinary engineering ability, recognising that without Wozniak’s technical genius, Apple may never have existed in the form we know it today. Wozniak, in turn, respected Jobs’ ability to see beyond the technology and imagine what it could become. Their personalities were vastly different, but their appreciation of each other’s strengths helped them bridge those differences and create something extraordinary.
Then there is the story of Narendranath Datta and Ramakrishna. Narendra famously asked a blunt question: “Have you seen God?” Rather than being offended by his scepticism, Ramakrishna respected his sharp intellect and his refusal to accept anything blindly. Narendra, in turn, came to respect Ramakrishna’s spiritual authenticity. Their mutual respect transformed a sceptic into a disciple and eventually influenced the course of modern spiritual history.
Perhaps that is what makes respect so remarkable. It does not require agreement or similarity. It can exist in love, in collaboration and even between people who stand on opposite sides of an argument. It is the ability to recognise something of value in another person — their mind, their character, their courage, their abilities or their potential.
The deepest form of respect is the one we barely notice. It asks for no acknowledgement and does not announce itself. It exists in the quiet moments: when we listen without judging, celebrate another person’s success without feeling diminished by it, give them space without questioning their intentions, or disagree without belittling them. Respect does not demand that we agree with someone to value them.
Perhaps that is why the strongest relationships rarely speak about respect. They do not need to. They simply live it. It becomes part of the way we listen, the way we disagree, the way we celebrate, the way we give space and, most importantly, the way we allow another person to remain themselves. We may not always recognise it. We may not even consciously think about it. But when respect is present, it quietly holds everything else together.
Source: Email forward A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work. The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk tur...
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