Love has the power to let go.
No doubt about it - Dad is the real hero for most of us. And this hero has a harmless villain side too, especially when you are a kid. Specifically a male kid. You know what I mean - those moments when he “orders” you to do something that you don’t want to do. The justification is simple: he teaches us the things we need to learn. His love is about shaping his son into the best version he can be, and this is his way of expressing his love. While this kind of love filled with care, lazy dads are happy enough to “use” us to do things for their convenience, and crazy dads make sure to call us exactly when we are in the middle of something we love. Well, the fact is, dad is the first person to love us to the core, and having letting go as part of that love.
Love is an intoxicating bond. It blinds us to the demands of the world.
One of my friends, a father of two, is very particular about independence. The first thing he did after marriage was teach his wife to drive. Whenever they went out, she took the wheel (lazy dad style?). The same goes for his kids. Even in kindergarten, he encouraged them to do things on their own instead of relying on their parents. Now, at 10+, the difference is obvious - they are more confident and capable than most kids of their age. Why can’t everyone do this? Is love the very thing that prevents it? The deeper you love someone, the more dangers you imagine around them. The stronger your instinct to shield them, and the greater the dependency you unknowingly create. Love is, in its own way, crazy.
Love has its own eyes. True mastery is to love and yet see the world not through its eyes.
Hansie makes no attempt to break this bond. The first thing I do upon returning home is wrap him in a hug. Hansie makes no attempt to grant me thought solitude. I scan my food, instinctively setting aside what he would love to eat. Hansie makes no attempt to distance himself. I never leave home without patting his head - he is always waiting by the door. Hansie makes no attempt to prove the absurdity of it all. Whenever I call, he leaps onto my chest as if he has belonged there forever.
Love is the courage to exist in its own world.
Hansie never made any attempt to break these habits. He could have stayed away at times. He could have kept himself busy when I needed him. He could have ignored me and played with someone else. But he never did. No matter how many people I show as an example, Hansie never learnt this lesson. Neither did my mom. They prefer their own world.
Love alone is not life, and love needs to be there for life’s existence.
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