Love is Blind. I am sure those who believe in this will never attempt to define what love is. And those who never believe in love won’t be interested in defining it either. Let me take an exception and try to get the definition of love, love in the context of men and women. It is an absolute trouble to be in between and try to define it. Anyway, no harm in giving it a try. What is love? Let me share few of my friends’ love stories and try to extract some insights that can enlighten me a bit.
D and C were in love. Their parents didn’t approve of it. C is so religious. She was waiting for God’s mercy instead of a register marriage and made D too wait. She got married to someone else (God’s will!) and then D too married another girl. They both are leading a happy life of their own now. Thought: Can’t there be anything else superior than love, like C’s belief in God? Can the love turn into hatred?
J and R’s marriage is a love marriage. They got a lovely daughter now and I am sure they still love each other the way they were before their wedding. Thought: J is so kind and talented and so R. Those characteristics are the very nature of them even before they met each other. Is there anything special in it to be called love? Is love just the agreement to live together forever?
C and B were in deep love. Her parents forced her to break the relationship. Then C and M were in love. C’s parents fixed another girl for him and they are doing good in their married life now so far. This is perhaps, one of the most common “love” types. Thought: Should the true love be just with one person? Can’t a person fall in (true) love again and again?
P and S were working together at the same branch of a company. Her parents forced her to move to another branch to ensure they don’t have a chance to meet each other. Now they both are waiting. Thought: Are they going to wait forever? Should being together is mandatory for the true love?
S and P were college-mates. Though they know each other while they were in college, they were not in love. They had met in a get-together after two years and then they started meeting frequently and then the love proposal and marriage. Thought: Is the love spark needs right time and not just the right person? Is it based on any materialistic/worldly stuff?
There are few more but let me stop with this. Of course, as you can see, it is nowhere closer in helping me to get something meaningful. Let us forget about these love and love marriages and love life and be back to the original question. What can eventually be called as love between man and woman? Is the thing we call love merely an attempt to find the presumably perfect partner with whom we won’t have any troubles in the future? And the companionship after the marriage? Is there a world of difference between what we practically see as love and what we imagine it to be?
There is no root - there is no way you can find the root by cutting the seed with your best of apparatuses. Nature knows the perfect moment to drop the seed coat and let the root grow. It is always a wonder to see the sprout waving and gesturing another life in this universe. How do hypocotyl and cotyledons come into existence? Why the buds and sepals? And then the flowers and fruits. What an amazing journey, Heaven’s magic! The root comes, stems and leaves come, buds and flowers come, fruits come, and then there is the blissfulness of that little seed. Let me call this as nature’s love for the seed. Everything that the seed “needs” come into the existence exactly when it is required and exactly in the form it needs to be, by the “act” of nature. It is an impeccable obedience to the “Heaven’s Plan”.
Take our life as a similar journey. Everyone gets “needs” planted in this journey by “Heaven’s plan”. We require someone’s “act”s to help us march ahead. True love is the absolute harmony between these “needs” and “acts” which happens so naturally. When you need a shoulder to lean on, when you need fingers to wipe your tears, when you need someone to yell at your wrongs, when you need someone to talk to you through their silence,… and if there is someone who can “act” involuntarily - never on the demand and never on the deliberateness, then there is love. That is why I got the feeling that love got nothing to do with the future. Because that is expectations. Nor love can be felt in the present. Because that is awareness. Love can be felt only in the past moments and memories because that is where the ordinary “acts” feels tremendously extraordinary.
Love is not just caring. Love is not just being around. Love is not just … Caring can be faked. “Being around” can be faked. There are hundreds of things that can be faked. Love is unawareness of all and still being them all - you care without knowing you care. You see, Love is Blind.
D and C were in love. Their parents didn’t approve of it. C is so religious. She was waiting for God’s mercy instead of a register marriage and made D too wait. She got married to someone else (God’s will!) and then D too married another girl. They both are leading a happy life of their own now. Thought: Can’t there be anything else superior than love, like C’s belief in God? Can the love turn into hatred?
J and R’s marriage is a love marriage. They got a lovely daughter now and I am sure they still love each other the way they were before their wedding. Thought: J is so kind and talented and so R. Those characteristics are the very nature of them even before they met each other. Is there anything special in it to be called love? Is love just the agreement to live together forever?
C and B were in deep love. Her parents forced her to break the relationship. Then C and M were in love. C’s parents fixed another girl for him and they are doing good in their married life now so far. This is perhaps, one of the most common “love” types. Thought: Should the true love be just with one person? Can’t a person fall in (true) love again and again?
P and S were working together at the same branch of a company. Her parents forced her to move to another branch to ensure they don’t have a chance to meet each other. Now they both are waiting. Thought: Are they going to wait forever? Should being together is mandatory for the true love?
S and P were college-mates. Though they know each other while they were in college, they were not in love. They had met in a get-together after two years and then they started meeting frequently and then the love proposal and marriage. Thought: Is the love spark needs right time and not just the right person? Is it based on any materialistic/worldly stuff?
There are few more but let me stop with this. Of course, as you can see, it is nowhere closer in helping me to get something meaningful. Let us forget about these love and love marriages and love life and be back to the original question. What can eventually be called as love between man and woman? Is the thing we call love merely an attempt to find the presumably perfect partner with whom we won’t have any troubles in the future? And the companionship after the marriage? Is there a world of difference between what we practically see as love and what we imagine it to be?
There is no root - there is no way you can find the root by cutting the seed with your best of apparatuses. Nature knows the perfect moment to drop the seed coat and let the root grow. It is always a wonder to see the sprout waving and gesturing another life in this universe. How do hypocotyl and cotyledons come into existence? Why the buds and sepals? And then the flowers and fruits. What an amazing journey, Heaven’s magic! The root comes, stems and leaves come, buds and flowers come, fruits come, and then there is the blissfulness of that little seed. Let me call this as nature’s love for the seed. Everything that the seed “needs” come into the existence exactly when it is required and exactly in the form it needs to be, by the “act” of nature. It is an impeccable obedience to the “Heaven’s Plan”.
Take our life as a similar journey. Everyone gets “needs” planted in this journey by “Heaven’s plan”. We require someone’s “act”s to help us march ahead. True love is the absolute harmony between these “needs” and “acts” which happens so naturally. When you need a shoulder to lean on, when you need fingers to wipe your tears, when you need someone to yell at your wrongs, when you need someone to talk to you through their silence,… and if there is someone who can “act” involuntarily - never on the demand and never on the deliberateness, then there is love. That is why I got the feeling that love got nothing to do with the future. Because that is expectations. Nor love can be felt in the present. Because that is awareness. Love can be felt only in the past moments and memories because that is where the ordinary “acts” feels tremendously extraordinary.
Love is not just caring. Love is not just being around. Love is not just … Caring can be faked. “Being around” can be faked. There are hundreds of things that can be faked. Love is unawareness of all and still being them all - you care without knowing you care. You see, Love is Blind.
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