Can men and women be friends? Is NO a comfortable answer for you? Let me put this to a more specific case. Can a girl and a boy at age between prime teenage and late twenties be friends? The science and psychology says it is not possible as sexual and romantic thoughts are unavoidable and the relationship takes different direction - could be on either side, positive or negative. If I have to answer this, I realise that first I should have proper understanding on what is meant by friend. I tried to answer few random questions to myself so that I can see more than what I already believe.
Can a 10 years little girl meeting a 70 years man in a park everyday be friends? Can a thief in the jail be a friend to a police supervisor there? Can the father who is there with his daughter and care for her every needs be a friend to her? Can the psychiatrist listening to me patiently and understand me completely and gives me the best solution to any of my problems be a friend to me? Is the billionaire helping the poor in need at the right time a friend to them? Should I call someone friend when the person understands me, if so how much time required to call someone as friend? Is the forever friendship real? Should I be best on the something to be a friend for someone as if I am not, I am not of much help? Can the husband like the one in 45 years movie be a friend to his wife? Can the stranger talking to you or a passage you read in a book change your whole life? Can I hire someone to be my friend? And more...
Okay, I got something! I think we are overestimating the value of, need of friends. In deed, I don’t see much need in the explicit mention of “friend” as it mostly piggybacks with something already defined. Your dad can express friendship. Call him dad and that should be fine. I would even think that being friend to someone is a good business like the discount sales where you feel benefited. List out all the things you would expect from a friend and see how many of them are really needed now and how many of them are really coming only from friends and by no other means. You would find almost nothing. Friends are kind of smaller version of caste/religion…-wise groups. If you are trapped then you believe it is divine and you start worshiping it.
Can men and women be friends? Like rich-poor, religionX-religionY… men-women friendship too got its own difficulties. Apart from those involved, the society around decides how far one can go. I think after marriage, we still have roles uniquely defined for men and women which results in uncommon needs. And also, not every spouse wholeheartedly approve of opposite sex friendship, at least the need for the relationship. If not understood properly, the family life would be a disastrous one. Best of friendships not only knows how to fight and stay alive but also knows when to disappear and yet live forever.
Unlike love, friendship need not happen at the the first sight. It can be evaluated and reevaluated. I think anyone who can genuinely care for someone has friendship in them. Limited time for the day and equal hours for everyone must be God’s best decision. We all differ in our needs and no one person can fulfil all our needs with the time they got. Don’t bother about getting forever friends. I think one must focus not on finding friends but showing friendship.
By the way, this blog post is for those who haven't really experienced true friendship. Others will find no meaning because friendship is one of those things that felt so strongly by the heart but utter nonsense when explained as a theory. Happy friendship day :)
Can a 10 years little girl meeting a 70 years man in a park everyday be friends? Can a thief in the jail be a friend to a police supervisor there? Can the father who is there with his daughter and care for her every needs be a friend to her? Can the psychiatrist listening to me patiently and understand me completely and gives me the best solution to any of my problems be a friend to me? Is the billionaire helping the poor in need at the right time a friend to them? Should I call someone friend when the person understands me, if so how much time required to call someone as friend? Is the forever friendship real? Should I be best on the something to be a friend for someone as if I am not, I am not of much help? Can the husband like the one in 45 years movie be a friend to his wife? Can the stranger talking to you or a passage you read in a book change your whole life? Can I hire someone to be my friend? And more...
Okay, I got something! I think we are overestimating the value of, need of friends. In deed, I don’t see much need in the explicit mention of “friend” as it mostly piggybacks with something already defined. Your dad can express friendship. Call him dad and that should be fine. I would even think that being friend to someone is a good business like the discount sales where you feel benefited. List out all the things you would expect from a friend and see how many of them are really needed now and how many of them are really coming only from friends and by no other means. You would find almost nothing. Friends are kind of smaller version of caste/religion…-wise groups. If you are trapped then you believe it is divine and you start worshiping it.
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Can men and women be friends? Like rich-poor, religionX-religionY… men-women friendship too got its own difficulties. Apart from those involved, the society around decides how far one can go. I think after marriage, we still have roles uniquely defined for men and women which results in uncommon needs. And also, not every spouse wholeheartedly approve of opposite sex friendship, at least the need for the relationship. If not understood properly, the family life would be a disastrous one. Best of friendships not only knows how to fight and stay alive but also knows when to disappear and yet live forever.
Unlike love, friendship need not happen at the the first sight. It can be evaluated and reevaluated. I think anyone who can genuinely care for someone has friendship in them. Limited time for the day and equal hours for everyone must be God’s best decision. We all differ in our needs and no one person can fulfil all our needs with the time they got. Don’t bother about getting forever friends. I think one must focus not on finding friends but showing friendship.
By the way, this blog post is for those who haven't really experienced true friendship. Others will find no meaning because friendship is one of those things that felt so strongly by the heart but utter nonsense when explained as a theory. Happy friendship day :)
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