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பழையன கழிதலும் புதியன புகுதலும், நட்பில்?

கோர்வையற்ற வார்த்தைகளாகவே முடித்துவிடப் போகிறேனோ என்ற தோன்றலோடே இந்தப் பதிவைத் துவங்குகிறேன். முன்னெச்சரித்தும் கொள்கிறேன். பரண் ஏறி வெகுகாலமாகி, துருக்கள் துகள்களாகும் நிலையாகிவிட்ட நட்பெல்லாம் இன்னமும் தேவைதானா என்ற எண்ண ஓட்டம்தான் இது. பழையன கழிதலும் புதியன புகுதலும் கால ஓட்டத்தின் கட்டாயமும், மிக இயல்பாய் இந்த உலகமே பழகிக்கொண்டதுமான நியதிதான். மாற்றம் ஒன்றே மாறாதது என்றோ, மாற்றம் என்பதே வாழ்வின் அடையாளம் என்பதோ நாம் எப்போதும் சொல்வதுதான். நட்பின் நிலையும் இதற்கு அப்பாற்பட்டதல்ல என்றே என் மனம் சொல்கிறது. காலத்தின் மாற்றங்களுக்கேற்ப, புதிய நட்பைத் தேடிச் செல்வதும் ஏற்றதே அல்லவா? உண்மையில் பழையது/புதியது, தேவையானது/தேவையில்லாதது என நட்பில் பார்ப்பதற்கு முன், நட்பென்றால் என்னவென்ற ஆழ்ந்த புரிதல் இருந்தால் மட்டுமே இதற்கான ஒரு தெளிவான விவாதத்திற்குள் சென்று பயணிக்க முடியும். நிற்க! ஒரு முனையில் - காலங்காலமாய் ஒரே ஊர், ஒரே பள்ளி, கல்லூரி, ஒரே இடத்தில் பணியென எல்லா இடங்களிலும் தொடரும் ஒரே நட்பு. மறுமுனையில் - பள்ளி முடிப்பதிற்குள் நான்கைந்து இடம் மாறி, ஒன்றுக்கொன்றான தொடர்புகள் அறுபட்ட வாழ...
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Recent posts

Yield to Temptation - Diet. Discount. Sunflower!

“ O Arjun, those who eat too much or too little, sleep too much or too little, cannot attain success in Yog ,” says Krishna . And from across the centuries, James Allen echoes : “ He wants to gratify his taste for rich and unnatural viands and have his health as well. Such a man is totally unfit to have health .” Gluttony, after all, is one of the seven deadly sins. (Thank you, Se7en !) But don’t worry, we are not going that deep into guilt and punishment today. When it comes to diet, I am always amazed by friends who can effortlessly resist delicious foods, saying a firm “no” to temptation. Is a little indulgence now and then such a crime? Why practice such rigid self-control all the time? And no, they are not immune to double-chocolate-chip brownies at 4 PM on a Friday. Why not yield to temptation, wisely? (Just for fun, of course, don’t try this at home… unless it’s a tiny bite!). Now consider shopping and discounts, temptation’s playground. Epictetus wisely suggests , “If...
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Un-Blur, Un-Sharpen the Images and Live Longer

 “Live longer” might be a false claim. Even just “living” may only work if it fits your definition of it. But what if the very clarity of our internal ‘images’ holds the key to both how we interact with others and how we navigate our own lives? Recently, I was in a discussion with a few teammates. I tried to explain a few things that, in my mind, needed fixing. I gave a quick glimpse of the issues, assuming they would catch the core idea. They did. Just not the one I intended. Soon, they were pointing out fixes and efforts for their interpretation, leaving me wondering, “How did we get here?” Well, it is all about assumptions and the mental images each of us sees. A fundamental requirement in communication is not just creating an image but also learning to transfer it to others as accurately as possible. The challenge, however, is that we rarely share the entire image. We assume the listener will fill in the blanks - which they do, but sometimes with the wrong pieces. The result? T...
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The Water Bottle Story

  Sweepstakes: Well, I don’t know the name. A puzzle would be published in the newspaper, and you had to send the answer to a particular postal address to be part of a lucky draw. The winner would get a nice product at a big discount. The money was collected through the postal service. Extremes: We often use words like earthquake, tsunami, volcano, or nuclear bomb to describe the extremes of emotions or situations. We somehow know these are the big ones and they become our metaphors for things we can’t otherwise measure. Delhi/China Set: My dad used to refer to heavy parcels with fake products as “Delhi/China sets.” Scammers do this all the time. You would order a Mixi and end up receiving a nicely packed old brick. Back then, there was barely any way to complain or get your money back. Phone Scams: Phone scams are very common nowadays. And the elders are the easy targets. Nearly 20% of the adult population is affected by phone scams, with trillions of money looted by the scammers ...
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Why Am I Not That Someone?

One of the nice things about major bus stops is that both the people and buses keep moving, yet the place remains decently crowded, and always buzzing with life. It was 20:30 hrs when the bus I needed arrived. I was waiting closer to the bus so that I could take my turn after the rushing crowd boarded. An elderly lady approached me and asked whether the bus would go to her stop. It wouldn’t. I patiently explained to her the right bus numbers that would take her there and told her that her bus would come in 5-10 minutes. I suggested her to stand slightly away, where her bus usually stops. Then, I boarded my bus and left. You know, it is truly a blessing to be present in moments when elders feel the need for a helping hand. I have often seen college students carry bags for older people as they board buses. Even if the bag is almost weightless for the youngster, the gesture matters, and I am sure it helps the elder more than we imagine. It also leaves a warm feeling in the one who offers ...
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Contextless Context

  Life is a bit of a mess when a stepdad and his stepchild don’t get along. Ask David Copperfield. His stepdad, Mr. Murdstone, made his life miserable, or at least, that is how David saw it. I was skimming through David Copperfield, not really feeling any sentiment, and honestly, a bit bored (lie!). And then, there it was — this line: “He ordered me like a dog, and I obeyed like a dog.” Suddenly, I perked up. I could see it. A dog ordering? A dog obeying? I never expected a single line to spark such hilarious visuals. A “wow, interesting” moment, completely out of nowhere. Of course, the reason is that I could easily relate how the dog orders and how it obeys to what Mr. Murdstone and David do. I was sure that I was not an eligible audience for “The Greatest Show on Earth”. It wasn’t the greatest show for me. I dropped out at 10%. Not because it was bad, but just because I kept wondering, why am I even following this? Then, amidst my inner struggle, I hit this passage...
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A Lesson for Hansie, My Pet Dog!

Love has the power to let go. No doubt about it - Dad is the real hero for most of us. And this hero has a harmless villain side too, especially when you are a kid. Specifically a male kid. You know what I mean - those moments when he “orders” you to do something that you don’t want to do. The justification is simple: he teaches us the things we need to learn. His love is about shaping his son into the best version he can be, and this is his way of expressing his love. While this kind of love filled with care, lazy dads are happy enough to “use” us to do things for their convenience, and crazy dads make sure to call us exactly when we are in the middle of something we love. Well, the fact is, dad is the first person to love us to the core, and having letting go as part of that love. Love is an intoxicating bond. It blinds us to the demands of the world. One of my friends, a father of two, is very particular about independence. The first thing he did after marriage was teach his wife to...
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